Wide Awake

Sam drinks scotch with the guys on the back deck, a cigar in delicate fingers while she laughs at one of the general's jokes. Hammond, when soused, can appropriately mimic a randy teenager trying to impress his friends. Sam appreciates the fact that no one notices her breasts while Hammond tells dick and fart jokes. Major Davis pretends that he isn't looking at her ass.

Inside Jack plays the perfect host and refills glasses and offers more food to already over-fed coworkers who he otherwise would never have let in his home - except that it is Christmas and in true SGC tradition, the loneliest bastard with a decent sized home has to host the party.

Jack's home is cozy and warm. There is snow in the backyard and the few children who get dragged along to these things - Cassie, Siler's kids, the general's grandkids - run around and throw snowballs at each other. Teal'c joins them off and on. He gets chilled faster than he'd like to admit - years of living in a hot climate.

Jack slaps the back of someone he doesn't know and gives him a big smile and a 'Merry Christmas.' He works his way through the crowd, ignoring the fact that Jonas waves to him from across the room. There's no shout of 'Colonel' to make his snubbing of Jonas obvious to anyone else.

The bedroom is the only sanctuary left that hasn't been overtaken by friends, coworkers, and merry makers. He sits down on his bed and takes a deep breath, filling his lungs with air that seems to be lighter than the air in the rest of the house.

It's Christmas and he'd rather be anywhere than at a party - especially one at his own home. Last Christmas he was on Abydos with Daniel, Kasuf, and Skaara. He slept under starlight with Daniel breathing against his skin.

This Christmas there's no sand or starlight, no Daniel breathing against his skin. Jack accepts that when he can, but prefers to believe that it's a bad dream that he'll wake up from eventually.

The bedroom door opens and the only two people he'd let in there slip inside. Sam with tousled hair and red cheeks from the cold and Teal'c wearing a Santa cap and a slight smile. They sit on the bed on either side of him.

Jack looks at one and then the other. They understand what's missing, who should be a part of their yearly Christmas shindig. Daniel should be wearing the horrible Christmas sweater that Teal'c bought him years before as a joke that he wore every Christmas party. He should be drinking cheap beer and laughing at the General's jokes. Most importantly, he should be passing out in Jack's bed at the end of the night.

Sam lifts her glass of scotch, peering at the golden liquid, "He never could hold his liquor."

"Never," Jack agrees softly. "It was pointless to give him the good stuff."

"Do you remember the Christmas party at Siler's where he got into the spiced rum and ended up singing Christmas carols in Abydosian?"

"I have never heard God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen sung with such feeling," Teal'c says, lifting his glass of egg nog. "Though few of the words were correct."

"It's the thought that counts," says Jack with a smile. He leans against Sam and clinks his bottle of beer against her glass before clinking his with Teal'c's. "Merry Christmas."

Sam and Teal'c echo his words and they all drink. The bedroom is warmer than it was before and Jack looks at the window. Stars are twinkling in the sky and maybe Daniel's breath isn't against his skin any longer, but Sam and Teal'c are warm against his side and life goes on.

Besides, the General has barely scratched the surface of his dirty joke repertoire and Cassie hasn't implored any of them for a bit of egg nog. And the Secret Santa gift exchange hasn't even begun yet. Someone is going to love the bottle of doe urine and gift mug of chocolates.

Jack sips his beer and smiles.