JC decided to use the hiatus to find himself. He knew who he was, of course, knew a lot about himself, actually. But almost everything he knew related to the group or at least one of the other guys in some way. He wanted to know who he was when he was by himself, and he figured fourteen months away from the other guys and *Nsync itself would be a good time to do that.

He started by buying a new house. He figured that it would give him a new place to be, a fresh start so to speak. He didn't furnish it right away, wanting to wait until he discovered who he really was before adding personal touches.

He hadn't even bought dishes, so he ate his dinner off of a paper plate with flowers on it while he poured over self-help books and books on different hobbies.

He'd gone to the bookstore and spent the whole afternoon wandering the aisles, picking up any book that caught his eye. He had books on everything from origami to model airplanes. One book on crazy quilting he'd bought because the riot of colors on the front made him happy to look at it.

He flipped pages lazily while he ate, pausing now and then to picture himself doing various tasks. He ruled out the quilting when he realized that quilting meant sewing and sewing meant needles. Shaking his head, he heaved a little sigh of regret. He'd wanted so much to color coordinate something to hang on his wall.

The next book he picked up was on crystals. It was purple, which he thought was pretty cool, and had a picture of a big pretty blue stone on the cover. Lapis lazuli it said. He liked the sound of that.

*

JC stayed up half the night reading the book on crystals. Apparently, crystals were really useful. Or so the book said. They were used in all sorts of things, like spells and healing and other stuff that JC really didn't care about, but it was neat to know that they were so versatile.

He slept in late, got up even later, then decided to head out again. This time in search of some crystals of his own.

*

The new age shop smelled like incense, nag champa, and JC smiled to himself. He liked this place already.

He walked around, taking his time and looking at everything on display. He shuddered inwardly at the ceremonial daggers and sighed in pleasure at the sight of the velvet robes. Everything was so appealing, eye-catching, and just being in the store convinced JC that he was on the right track to
finding out about himself.

A lady approached him, then, her hands clasped in front of her. She was wearing a long flowing skirt, a broomstick skirt JC remembered hearing them called, and a poet's blouse. Her hair was long, straight, and red. Really, really red. JC'd never seen hair that red before, and he was kind of
fascinated by the color.

She blinked, smiled, and spoke. "Can I help you find something?"

JC jolted at the sound of her voice. "Uh, no thanks. I was kinda just looking around." As the woman started to walk off, though, JC called out to her. "Actually, ma'am, you can help me."

*

When JC got back home, it was after dark, and he was weighted down with four bags full of goodies. One of them contained nothing but various stones, all different shapes and sizes and every color of the rainbow and them some. He'd bought more books, including a book on runes and one on something called chakras.

He didn't really know what it was that he wanted to do with all this stuff, but the woman at the store had been so helpful, and JC really couldn't resist a shopping spree. Even if he had no idea how to use half of what it was that he'd purchased.

He put all the bags down on his kitchen table, which he only had because Lance had forced him to buy one. "You can't have a house and not have at least one table, C." Sometimes, Lance made sense.

He opened the bag of crystals and took them out, one by one, turning them and examining them. He held them up to the light, watching the way each one played with the beams differently. He especially liked the clearer stones, like the quartz and the amethyst. The light seemed to dance around inside of the stone. JC appreciated the beauty in that.

The last stone he pulled out of the bag was a deep blue, not sapphire, but brighter. He checked it against the book laying open next to him that listed each stone. Lapis Lazuli. He smiled and slipped that one in his pocket.

*

JC had been up for a few hours, and every so often he'd just walk through his kitchen where the crystals were still spread out on his table and look at them. It was like having a rainbow lying on his table, and just the sight of it calmed him.

He heard the phone ring while he was fixing breakfast. He grabbed the portable from the counter and balanced it between his shoulder and ear. "Hello?"

"C? It's me. I'm bored, and you've been randomly selected to fix that."

JC smiled. "I've been selected because Justin's in LA, Lance is in Russia, and Joey's in New York. I'm the only one left in Orlando, and you're not about to fly out to see one of them unless you have to."

Chris sniffed indignantly on the other end of the line. "You make it sound like a bad thing."

JC couldn't help but laugh. "It's not, I'm just pointing out your true reasoning."

"Well, I'm coming over and I'll be there in..." Just as the dial tone began to squeal in his ear, JC heard the door bell ring. He rolled his eyes and dropped the phone on the counter before going to let Chris in.

Chris grinned hugely at him and pushed his way into the house when JC made no move to let him in. "What's up, man?" Chris said, and smacked JC lightly on the shoulder in greeting.

JC rolled his eyes again, but couldn't help the small smile that lifted the corner of his lips. As much as he was enjoying his "alone time," it was really good to have one of the guys over. He'd begun to feel like he was missing something by not seeing them every waking moment.

Chris didn't wait for JC to follow him, he just took off and walked into JC's kitchen. Spying the crystals on the table, he stopped, turned, and quirked an eyebrow at JC.

JC was leaning against the door jam, but he straightened and went over to stand next to the table. His posture was slightly defensive. "What?"

"Why do you have a bunch of rocks on your table?"

"They're stones, Chris, not rocks. Crystals," JC clarified, and picked one up, a jagged piece of hematite and held it out to Chris. "Isn't it pretty?"

Chris took the stone and looked at intently. "Uh, sure, man." He dropped the stone back onto the table top, not seeing it clatter before settling. "You got any beer? 'Cause I ran out, and I'm really craving it right now."

JC sighed and opened the refrigerator.

*

Chris stayed most of the day, alternately pissing JC off and making him laugh.

JC couldn't really help but be glad to see Chris - he hadn't seen him in almost a month - but he really wanted him to leave, too.

It was while they were watching a movie, Chris' choice, of course, that Chris suddenly jumped up from the couch and went outside.

JC didn't make too much of it, way too used to Chris being random to even give it a second thought. But then Chris came back inside carrying suitcases. And not those little overnight bags, either. JC gawked. These were actual full sized suitcases.

There were three of them.

"What are you doing?" JC asked, not even sure if really wanted to know.

Chris dropped one of the cases and grinned at JC. "I'm moving in for a little while. I told you I was bored, and you're the one that gets to entertain me." He made a sweeping gesture with one hand, indicating the luggage at his feet. "This is your chance."

JC turned around, his back to Chris, and tried valiantly to concentrate on the movie.

*

Three days later, he was still trying to avoid Chris while not letting on that he was doing so. He didn't want to hurt Chris' feelings, but he didn't want to deal with him, at all, either.

He was lying on his bed, trying to figure out ancient Norse words, when the door flew open and Chris tackled him.

"JC," Chris said, chidingly. "You're not entertaining me. I came over here to not be bored, and that's exactly what I am."

JC wriggled and squirmed his way out from underneath Chris. "I'm busy, Chris."

Chris shook his head. "No, you're not. You're playing with rocks again, JC. Play with me, dammit!"

JC sat up slowly, wanting nothing more than to push Chris off his bed and bean him over the head with something blunt. Instead, he picked up an aqua marine stone and wrapped Chris' fingers around it. He wanted to tell Chris about its calming effect and how serene it could make a person feel. But all the words flew out of his mind when he felt the electric shock travel up his
arm.

It generated right where the stone met his skin, resting coolly in the palm of his hand. Chris' hand was warm and just slightly sticky over his, and JC didn't know what any of it meant.

He looked up into eyes that were wide with shock, deep dark brown with confusion. "Jayce?" Chris whispered, hesitantly. "What was that?"

JC dropped his hand from Chris', dropped the stone back on his bed. His head slowly moved from side to side, in denial or wonder he couldn't have said. "I have no idea. You felt it too, then?"

Chris nodded. He was staring at the crystal as if it was possessed. "Like something shocked me." His eyes lifted to JC's. "All up and down my arm."

"Yeah, just like that," JC agreed. "Can we. Uh, can we try it again? Like maybe with a different crystal this time."

Chris looked skeptical, but he consented and JC chose a rose quartz from the pile of stones and held it loosely in the palm of his hand, arm outstretched.

Chris took a deep breath and fitted his hand over JC's until the stone was blanketed by his palm. The same current of electricity traveled up JC's arm and this time he gasped aloud at it. "What's going on?" he asked, not exactly expecting an answer.

"I don't know, C."

*

JC stayed up long after Chris had gone to bed that night, pouring over all the books he'd recently bought that had anything to do with crystals. There were a lot of them that talked about crystals having energy and how you could transfer energy from one person to another using them, but there was nothing even remotely describing what had happened with him and Chris.

He sighed and closed the book, dropping it on the floor beside his bed. He lay back and folded his hands over his stomach. He'd never experienced anything like that before, and he didn't know what to make of it. He had no idea if it was something that the stones caused, or if it had just been a coincidence. He didn't think so, though.

He also didn't know if it was something that would happen with anyone, or if for some reason, Chris was special.

The whole thing was giving him a headache, and he finally fell asleep after tossing for hours.

He dreamed of lightning.

*

The next morning came too quickly. JC's head was still pounding, but he forced himself to get out of bed. Though it sounded like a wonderful idea, he really couldn't sleep the day away.

Chris had beaten him to the kitchen, and was frying bacon when JC wandered in, wanting nothing more than a cup of really really strong coffee.

"Mornin'" Chris said, and held out a mug of steaming liquid to JC. "No cream, lots of sugar, right?"

"Mmmm," JC said and inhaled the coffee's pungent scent. He sipped cautiously. "Perfect."

Chris was oddly subdued and JC wondered if it had anything to do with what had happened the night before, or if Chris was just in a calm mood. He wanted to ask him about it, but didn't know the exact way to approach the topic.

Chris took care of it for him. "C? Can I ask you something?"

JC nodded. "Of course."

"Do you have any idea what that was last night? I've been thinking about it, and I'll admit I know hardly anything about those rocks of yours, but it had to have been something to do with that, right?"

JC took another sip of his coffee, and thought about it for a moment. "I did some reading last night. I didn't really see anything that talked about... That, whatever it was. But apparently, crystals channel energy. That's all I can come up with."

Chris made a small sound of agreement. "Would you mind, I mean, can we, uh..." Chris broke off and wiped a hand over his eyes. "Can we try it again?" He looked up at JC. "If it's okay, of course."

JC grinned. "I'll be right back."

*

He returned a few minutes later with both hands full of crystals and a book tucked under his arm. Spreading everything out over the kitchen table, he said, "I think the kind of crystal we use makes a difference. According to this book different stones have different qualities."

He picked up a ruby, deep and blood red in the light of the room. "Let's try this one," JC said, holding his hand out.

Again, Chris fitted his fingers around JC's palm. Again, a burst of shocking white heat traveled up his and JC's arms, sparking just under their skin.

Chris gasped, just as JC'd done the night before. This time though, when his eyes met JC's, he felt another kind of spark. Something brighter and hotter than anything he'd felt before. It burned through him, leaving him trembling slightly.

Chris dropped his hand.

"Ok, that was. That was definitely weird," he said, trying to break up the tension in the air. "I'm going to go... Do something."

JC watched as Chris ran off and didn't bother to go after him.

*

Several days later, Chris was still just as quiet, and JC had the sinking feeling it was his fault.

Chris wasn't always upbeat, no one was, but his down time never lasted longer than a day or two. Unless he was sick, or depressed.

JC didn't like thinking that Chris was ill or melancholy. Especially because of something that he indirectly caused. Deciding to ask Chris about it, and hopefully fix things, he cornered Chris one afternoon.

JC took Chris by the hand and lead him to the living room where he pushed him down onto the couch. Sitting next to him, JC curled his feet up under him and said, "Are you mad at me?"

Chris looked genuinely shocked, which relieved JC somewhat. At least Chris wasn't blaming him for anything like JC'd thought. "No, I'm not mad at you. Confused, curious, fucking weirded out, yes. But I'm not mad at you, Jayce."

"Okay then." JC's eyes locked on to Chris', and they sat like that for just a split second before JC leaned up and kissed Chris.

To say Chris was shocked would have been an understatement, but he couldn't really protest it when that now-familiar heat shot from JC's mouth to his own and Chris felt it all the way down to his toes. He leaned into the kiss, wrapping a hand around JC's nape and pulled JC closer, just close enough so that he could deepen the kiss.

JC smiled against Chris' mouth and nipped at Chris' bottom lip. Chris made a sound that was half growl, half moan and pushed JC back so that he was lying on the couch. Chris raised himself above JC, supporting his weight with his arms while he moved his mouth from JC's to lick and nibble at JC's throat.

It was JC's turn to groan, and he did so, long and keening. His hands came up to fist in Chris' hair and he used his hold to tug Chris further down until Chris was lying fully on top of him.

Chris broke away from JC's neck, just long enough to grin at JC. "Wow," he said, breathless and hoarse.

JC smiled back. "Wow," he agreed.

*

Hours later, they were still wrapped around each other, but they'd managed to move from the living room to the bedroom. They were dozing on top of the covers, surrounded by JC's crystals, which hummed with an inner heat and vitality.

JC opened his eyes slowly, blinking owlishly against the faint light seeping in through the gaps in the blinds. He reached out blindly and grabbed a stone, wrapping his fingers around it tightly, relishing the feel of the smooth glossy surface against his skin. He held it up, trying to identify it
in the fading light of the room.

Lapis Lazuli he thought to himself. He smiled sleepily and closed his hand over Chris', the crystal singing against their palms.

Chris didn't wake up, but he shifted closer to JC, tightened his fingers around JC's hand. JC smiled again, more a quirk of his lips, really and sat up slowly. He picked up another crystal from the pile on the blankets and placed it on Chris' forehead. Chris mumbled something and smacked his lips, causing JC to stifle a giggle.

The next stone, an emerald, JC placed over Chris' throat. Chris didn't move this time and JC breathed a sigh of relief. He wanted to finish before Chris woke up.

The next crystal was a smoky quartz, slightly black, slightly gray, and JC set it gently down on Chris' stomach. The light hit it, making it sparkle against Chris' skin.

JC chose a tiger's eye next, placing it between Chris' thighs, at the base of his abdomen. JC sighed a little, remembering the feel of Chris against him, the latent strength in him. Shivering, he moved on.

Peered at the bright blue stone still resting in his hand, he lifted it to his lips. He pressed a little kiss on its smooth surface before placing directly over Chris' heart.

JC sat back, making himself comfortable against the headboard. Chris still hadn't moved, and JC was a little curious about it, but he decided to just enjoy the moment. He surveyed his work and stroked a gentle hand over Chris' hair.

He may not have found himself, but he'd certainly found one piece.